I see you sister longing for someone to see you, accept you, and know you.
I see you sister so hesitant to admit it but you are lonely in this current season.
I see you sister wanting someone to come along side you and you had hoped his name would be something along the lines of Mr. Right.
Disclaimer: to my sisters who long for a Godly man, this longing is GOOD. Stop apologizing but also (and I am #guilty of this to the worst degree) please stop thinking you cannot be content without him. Did you ever think that maybe this season apart will actually be better for you both in your relationship long term? That's how much I pray we trust the Lord. Truly, His plan is just that wild and crazy.
You are seen and your testimony will be heard. You are needed!
The good news is this: right here you can fight the feelings of loneliness. This doesn't mean there may not be something deeper going on here and I will go ahead and say I am a huge advocate for getting to the root. This may mean seeing a Christian counselor. Girl DO IT!
But sometimes, loneliness comes in waves and sometimes like an old friend loneliness comes to stay.
Here are five ways I have fought momentary loneliness:
1. The hardest thing to do; admit the why. I see you hesitant to admit how you wish someone saw this pain in you right now... and how opposite it may sound right now but a part of you wishes someone would (in a loving way) call you out on it because at least that would mean they care, right?
Allow me to say it for them: You feel lonely but you are never alone. Realize the root cause. It might be a recent breakup, a change in season, or a rejection from life. Maybe you thought x, y and z were certain things and now you feel stuck on a, b, and c. Maybe your loneliness is rooted in wanting to escape from your life causing you to pull away from everyone and everything you typically enjoy. Maybe there is some shame from something you have faced or experienced. Whatever it is; find the root and then face it head on.
2. Don't be afraid to talk to someone you trust. Call a friend. Or maybe send them a text. Many times in the past, I have texted a friend or my Mom and asked for prayer. Trust me, nothing reminds us more of a friend's devotion and care then when they are willing to go before the throne of Heaven asking for reinforcements. They go in our defense, targeting the loneliness Satan is trying to force feed us. Isn't that his mission? So we are too clouded to see God's truth; to make us question God's goodness like he did to Eve in the Garden.
3. Reach out and tell loneliness not today! Seek opportunities to SEE others. This more often than not helps me to cure some of my hardest moments with loneliness - by showing him the door through asking others how they are. It is in understanding that others feel this way too that we fight loneliness well. We need community. Be the person you would want. Selflessly look around and see. It is amazing even how far a simple "how are you" text message can go in establishing relationships.
4. Worship time y'all. Take five minutes to pray, sing your favorite worship song or just sit in God's presence. It doesn't have to be fancy. My prayer for you is that you will allow yourself before the throne whether that be in tears, frustration or sadness. It is here that Satan completely loses hold. Frankly take heart, you are being attacked because you are worth attacking! Satan sees the impact of you... but so does Jesus and He will hold you in a protective embrace. Allow yourself to feel enough to work through it and not stifle yourself into darkness hiding from the One who can love you best. Remember eventually it will boil to the surface. Don't allow yourself to be a walking hazard of emotions (trust me, been there and done that).
5. The most important point in all of this: remember who is always with you. There is nothing wrong with wanting Mr. Right but don't let a longing for something good become mistaken for permanent loneliness. Don't allow Satan to take the Godly desires placed in you and twist them into your own fruit to eat that wasn't meant for you because there was actually something better.
You are allowed to be disappointed and feel all the emotions but they have to come under the ultimate authority. God tells us He will never leave us. Take time to allow your feelings to understand faith will rule even in the emotion. Sometimes that means making a choice to believe you really aren't as alone as you feel and that truly He has the best in mind.
You are loved and you are seen!
As the founder of LaceDevotion Ministries (LDM),
Elizabeth is passionate about introducing young women to Jesus Christ.
"There is no better way to become who you are meant to be than to be with the One who created you to BE. He knows the things etched within your heart. Don't you think He can handle your questions and hurts? He wants something more than your time. He wants YOU!"
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