A Letter from the Heart of a Single Guy

Valentine's Day!! For many it is a special and romantic day. But for some, myself included, it’s just another reminder of the seemingly dreadful reality of being single. The day has its beauty but it can prove to be harsh toward the single individual. In my particular case, as a aspiring pastor, I have been told ministry begins when singleness ends.

Maybe your like me, or maybe your not, but as a single male I find it difficult to accept my present reality. However, as I examine my own singleness, I find that it’s more a blessing than a curse. It’s actually a gift from God. The external push for relationship has become eclipsed by an internal pull toward a deeper relationship with God!

As the Lord has opened my eyes to this beautiful gift of singleness, I have found that if I do not make the most of my singleness I will soon regret it. That is, if I do not pursue sanctification, holiness and transformation now, it will come back to haunt me later on!

So, I believe that the single man is to be intentional in his pursuit for a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ. There are three things that I believe a single godly man must be doing as he is waiting for his bride!

And these are the three things to look for...

First, a Godly man must align his steps with the principles of God. One of my favorite verses in the Bible ask the question, "How can a young man keep his way pure?” The Psalmist answers his own question and says, "By guarding it according to Your [God’s] word” (Psalm 119:9).

Being single is an endowment that frees one from the cares of this world, in order to make a habit of walking according to the word of God; for the purpose of purity. For it is the pure in heart who will see God (Matt. 5:8).

And it’s a bit hard to be in relationship with God if you can’t see God! Therefore, this IS the aim for the single man!

Second, a Godly man must position himself in the presence of God.

I just moved from Georgia to Maryland and though I am away from those I have grown to love, over the years, I feel as involved in their lives now as I did then.

I am able to pick up the phone and make a call. I can look at Instagram and see what’s happening. I can reply in a group chat or check my Marco Polo app.

With social media, group chats, phone calls, text messages, emails, and many other forms of communication, though they are amazing tools, they often distract us from acknowledging the presence of God. Paul tells us to be clothed with presence of God (Rom. 8:13).

So the goal should be that the relationship we experience with God, inwardly, should be externally evident to all people. This can only happen when we acknowledge the presence of God.

Communication with God is absolutely essential for the single male! For one day, he will be called to lead a family and if he has not learned to listen to the voice of God, he will lead ineffectively.

Third, a Godly man patiently waits on God while pursuing his God given purpose.

Now, the Bible teaches us that the plans God has for His people are down right amazing (Jer. 29:11).

They are great and grandiose. They far outreach all imaginable thoughts (Eph. 3:20).

And in order for us to see these plans we must learn to patiently wait (Hak 2:3).

I don’t know about you, but in this microwave, get it quick type culture-- I find myself struggling with the concept of delayed gratification. I go to Chick-fil-A order--and my sandwich is ready in a minute. I go to the nearest car shop and get my oil changed in ten minutes. Driving from my house to work takes fifteen minutes. My hair cut takes thirty minutes. And though I am grateful for all of these services, they tend to create in me an impulsive spirit. I believe that I deserve to get what I want and need-- immediately. However, to my surprise, the economy of God does not work that way. God controls what happens in time.

So I may not get what I want immediately but when I get it, if I patiently wait on him, it will be good (Rom. 8:28).

Now what does patience have to do with being a single man? Well, I’m glad you asked!

Think back with me to when God placed Adam in the garden (Gen. 2).

God said, “it is not good for man to be alone.”

What is interesting to me is that God does not turn around and immediately provide Adam with a wife. Rather, Adam is put to work! What? That’s right he was given a job. God acknowledged that the best solution for Adam was to provide him with a helper, namely, a wife. However, God, in His infinite wisdom, shows us the importance of working while waiting patiently for His provision.

So God brings him Eve (his wife) after Adam begins his work. I hope you're seeing this, because God knew the best solution, ultimately, was for Adam to have a wife to help him in his work.

But Adam had to first begin his work —so that God would then bring him a wife.

In other words, NO WORK, NO WIFE!!

Now, I love the fact that I’m writing to women, because all the brothers would be replying with a bunch of dislikes at this point! For the call to wait and work until God provides is a tough pill to swallow. It is not a popular concept, however I believe it to be Biblical.

So, heads up ladies, wait for a man who is waiting on God!!

Oh, and that tends to mean he’s got a job.

Okay, enough of that. Let’s wrap it up!

I truly believe that a man who aligns his path with the principles of the Bible, seeks the presence of God, and devotes himself to patiently wait on God, will discover that his singleness is a blessing.

To say it plainly and personally, I want to make habit of the right things now so that when God brings me a wife (as He brought Eve to Adam) I can bring, to the marriage equation, a positive and Godly lifestyle instead of a boyish, self centered, and immature lifestyle!!

Now, before I leave I want to say this: I believe that a young single lady should be doing the same thing as a young single man. That is, she ought to be pursuing a deeper relationship with Jesus.

Therefore, be encouraged to know that your singleness is a gift! It’s a gift in that Jesus has specifically chosen you to pursue Him.

So allow this Valentine's Day to be a sweet reminder from the Lord that he wants a deeper, more authentic, and true relationship with you.

God knows the desires of your heart, and intends to provide you with those desires.

Every last one of them!!

So I say with great joy, Happy Valentines Day!!

Simeon Bell is a graduate from Asbury University with a degree in Exercise Science. After a call to the ministry, he served as a youth pastor for two years at Grace Fellowship church in Lawrencville, Georgia. His passion is to inspire, equip and empower people to make disciples of Jesus Christ. He is a visionary leader who has a deep interest in seeing individuals transform into the image of Christ by the word of God. He is currently serving as the youth pastor of Bay Ridge Christian Church in Annapolis Maryland. He plans to attend graduate school to pursue a Masters of Divinity.

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