Have you ever felt like God was having you walk through a hard time instead of Him carrying you through something? Do you feel fear creeping in as we deal with this pandemic? Well, let me give you a little clip into my life a few months ago…
In late December I started having some major gallbladder issues and went to the emergency room. I was told I had gallstones, which can be common during pregnancy. I needed to meet with a surgeon to decide if I was going to have surgery or wait until after delivery. Dealing with Fear in This Season
We finally got an appointment with the surgeon after two more gall stone attacks. We decided to go ahead with the surgery and it would be scheduled the following week. It was a good thing we decided to go ahead with it because that same week I had two more attacks, which makes a total of five in less than a month. Seriously, one of the most painful things I have ever experienced.
The scariest and hardest part of surgery to me was the fact that throughout my recovery I could not lift my daughter, Callie, who is only 15 months old.
We went through with surgery on a Tuesday and came home Wednesday afternoon. Callie was so excited to see Mama, but could not understand why I could not love her the way I normally do. The confusion for her only got worse from here.
The next couple of days were awful! I was recovering very well surprisingly, but Callie was confused and frustrated. At one point, I was standing in the kitchen and she came walking up to me with her hands up above her head wanting to be picked up and held. I looked at her and said, “I can’t carry you, baby, why don’t you go see your daddy.”
That led to a full meltdown. She laid on the floor and just cried her little eyes out. As a mom, it’s so hard to watch your babies be upset, so I carefully sat down on the floor beside her and tried to hold her without hurting myself and she eventually calmed down.
But that situation got me thinking.
How many times do I have a meltdown at God’s feet cause I wanted to be held, or carried through something instead of walking through it?
Aren’t we all walking through an unknown right now where we would rather have some answers or a plan? I know that this has been me lately, I have been at God's feet crying and begging for something to change, for a lighter load, for not so much hardship and struggle and yet, nothing has let up or changed.
I decided to change my perspective. Normally, I would throw myself a pity party and feel totally defeated, but I can’t continue doing that.
I decided that God has given me these situations and hardships for a bigger purpose, for something that I don’t quite understand yet or something I don’t see yet.
My pastor at my church recently touched on this topic in a sermon he was teaching and the way he put it into words really grabbed my attention. Am I the kind of person who is going to look at my hardship/situation and say “Oh God? Where are you, God? You're supposed to be helping me” or even "Why are you doing this to me, God?”
Or am I the kind of person that is going to say “Okay God, I trust you. I don’t understand but I trust in you and what you are doing.”
I want to be the person that says “Okay God”.
Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us”.
This is my prayer for every one of us right now. Especially as we go through this uncharted territory! We know God has bigger plans that are immeasurably more than we could imagine but we have to choose to believe it, to seek Him in the dark times! Intentionally seeking God in this time of unknown is exactly how God wants us to respond to this pandemic.
So I leave you with this thought, I pray that you will sit down and evaluate your time spent with God. Are you sitting there complaining and worrying to Him or are you trusting Him and seeking his purpose for you at this time? Are you saying, “Okay God, let's do this together?”
Elizabeth Van Nus